There has never been a time I can think of that He did not answer my call. It may not have been as I supposed but I was always given peace in every situation. I had vowed to do what He wanted, say what He wanted and go where He wanted. The last few months has caused me to exclaim, “Jesus, we need to talk!” I the little girl, desired a talk I had hoped would make everything alright. Here is a dialogue in my perception.
Said the little girl:I love you and all, but no. Could we just do something else? I was cool with it until now.
God: What is wrong my child?
Said the little girl: I didn’t realize it would be all of this. You didn’t tell me this part.
God: My child you seem discouraged and broken. I declared that I am , near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18, so what is the matter?
Said the little girl: I just didn’t realize it would feel like this. I know you said, “we would be persecuted for Your sake.” You told us we should,“rejoice in persecution for great is our reward in Heaven” but how do I rejoice when it hurts so bad? Rejoicing is suppose to feel good and this doesn’t. This right here, no!
God: My daughter many long before you have been persecuted. I told you that as well. Why are you surprised? Remember in John 15:20 I said, “No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well.” If you are doing my will, they are not persecuting you. They are persecuting me.
Said the little girl: Yes I remember it all and I am so grateful for what you have done for me. I think back on what you endured and I know I couldn’t have done it. You died so that I could live. You gave Your life for me so that means I must now give my life others. From the beginning it was always a life for a life. They started with sacrificing animals and that couldn’t redeem us so You came and sacrificed Your life. You were lied on. You were falsely accused. You were rejected. You were stripped and beaten. You did all of that for me. You did it knowing I would contemplate throwing in the towels and you still included me. Paul declared your compassion in 2 Corinthians 5; 14-15,” Clearly, Christ’s love guides us. We are convinced of the fact that one man has died for all people. Therefore, all people have died.He died for all people so that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for the man who died and was brought back to life for them.” So that means I must die to what I want to do? I must die to what I feel and I must die to what I desire?
God: Child there is no room in this walk for self. You can’t see you. You have to trust that I will take care of you. I called you and you answered. You decided to follow me. Remember what I said in Luke 9;23, “He said to all of them, “Those who want to come with me must say no to the things they want, pick up their crosses every day, and follow me.” You answered the call. I declared my love for you when I suffered, bled and died. I knew what I had to endure before I came. No you may not have known specifically but I told you. I warned you. I told you not to be surprise but I also told you that I would be with you always.
Said the little girl: God I thank You for your grace and for your faithfulness. You are such a sovereign God. I thank you that you have never fallen short of your word. You have proven, “My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” So I will brag even more about my weaknesses in order that Christ’s power will live in me. 2 Corinthians 12;9. I thank you for always being accessible to my cry. I feel like going on. I must go on.
Ever wonder why the race is especially harder for you? Ever wonder why it seems as if others in ministry seems to be flourishing and moving? Ever wonder why you seem to be cast aside or shunned? Ever considered conforming to the ways of others, you know by compromising? Ever wonder why you don’t sound spiritually like others in your surroundings ? Well think back on the persecution and rejection each prophets endured especially Jeremiah. When God has called you to cry loud and spare not, you won’t live a life as most. It definitely doesn’t make you better, just consecrated for the assignment. There will be much persecution and rejection and it could just mean we don’t like correction. Many times Jeremiah wanted to quit because of all he had to endure. Despite His plight He became known as the “weeping profit.” He grieved for the people. He had a heart for God. Jonah we know just didn’t come out right and said, “the hell with the people” but that’s what his action showed when he refused to cry loud in Nineveh.
I have learned much while on this journey. I have experienced quite a conviction, while questioning Him; it shook my very being.
He said Lennie, “do you regret your decision to follow me? I do not mean by confession only but by the call on your life?” He went on and asked, “do you regret accepting the call because of people? Do you regret your life in Me?” This left me grieving. I began to ponder what had driven me to that place. Was it because of rejection? Was it because of persecution? Was it because my sphere of friends had diminished? Could it have been being misunderstood? Maybe it was in my celebratory state when others tried to halt my dance. It could have very well been while in my infantile state, trusting the hands that I supposed He had sent to help guide the way only to have those same hands turn on me.
I was caught up on time past when there were more with a heart for God’s people. I’m reminded of His plea to the disciples, “When I sent you out without a wallet, traveling bag, or sandals, you didn’t lack anything, did you? Not a thing!” they answered. It was this part that I had missed, “But now, the person who has a wallet and a traveling bag should take them along. The person who doesn’t have a sword should sell his coat and buy one.” Luke 22;35-36.
Time have definitely change. More and more bitterness has been added to His pots, His instructions. People are now mixing their motives and agendas with His instructions. I have come to realize that this walk is not going to be a crowded one. Many have separated and they will be more. Like a parent and a child, a child will some time rebel when instructions are given. Because a child want to do what he wants and the parent is sometimes looked at as the bad person. The child doesn’t understand that it is the love that is causing the parent to cry loud.
Ignorance and unfamiliarity can be a hindrance to us all. When we don’t understand something, it is easy to cast it aside instead of seeking to understand. When we are placed in an unfamiliar place, it can make us uncomfortable. In that place as much as one tries to bring comfort, sometimes it doesn’t work. More often than not, It has nothing to do with him but most likely it is what the he is carrying. Let’s think about a police officer; I am not as uncomfortable with the person as I am with what he is carrying, the weapon.
Let this encourage you. Remember who you are in Him. Oppositions will come but be encouraged because He overcame and we can too. He consented to death but He had too much power; the grave couldn’t hold Him. Know who you are in Him. For the greater one lives in you and no one can stop you unless you surrender. Keep going; there’s too much in you. The enemy knows your worth but He must give consent; he can’t touch you unless He gives consent and even then, you are still empowered!! Remember our strength lies in The Word. Use it! Dance in it until it comes alive in you! It’s the only way to “life.”